A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, “Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?”* * *
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
“How do you know what to say?” he asked.
“Why, God tells me.”
“Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?”* * *
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Billy, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?”
“No,” replied Billy.
“Why not?” asked the teacher.
“How could he?” replied Billie, “He only had two worms!”* * *
When Suzy noticed a broken vise grip in the trash can, she decided to buy her husband a new one for his birthday. She went to the hardware store and asked the salesman, “Do you have any vises?”
“Sorry, ma'am,” he replied. “I gave them all up for Lent.”