Monday, March 28, 2011

The Monday Funnies

The church functions on many things, but everything would collide were not for the rotas. What is a rota, you may ask? The schedule. We have rotas for the Altar Guild, ushers, coffee makers, Eucharist Ministers, readers and intercessors. And more rotas for acolytes, Eucharistic Visitors, Flower Guild and probably more that I've forgotten or about which I am completely oblivious.

The one rota I am directly responsible for is the one that shows which clergy does what and when, and the most confounded complicated of those is the rota for Holy Week. Every time I think it is done, another moving part moves. Cartoonist Dave Walker has captured the issue perfectly. And here are some jokes from Pat Hill to start your work week. Welcome to the Monday funnies...

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The Very Reverend Smith, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of speeches. At a banquet the first evening, he noticed some reporters in the audience. Because he wanted to use some of the stories he told that night in his speeches the next day, he asked the reporters to omit them from their articles.

Subsequently, when one article written by a cub reporter, came out the next day, it ended with this line: "The Very Reverend Smith also told a number of stories that cannot be printed." 
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On the first day of creation, God created the cat.

On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.

On the third, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat.

On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but he had to scoop the litter box.

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