Monday Funnies

What would Monday be without The Funnies? Here's are...

The Top 24 Funniest Signs in America

24. In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."

23. In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."

22. In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"

21. On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."

20. On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."

19. At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."

18. On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"

17. Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."

16. In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"

15. In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."

14. In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."

13. On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."

12. In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."

11. In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."

10. On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak."

9. At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."

8. In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."

7. On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. -- Sisters of

Mercy"

6. In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."

5. A parking sign in front of a Boston meditation center: "Visualize Being Towed."

4. On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."

3. In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."

2. In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"

1. On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."