The Monday Funnies

I don't know about you, but I could use a few dumb jokes today, especially at the expense of organized, and disorganized, religion. So, please, enjoy your Monday...

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A missionary comes to a remote village in Africa and finds that all the men there had more than one wife. Some of them had even four or five.

The missionary addresses the men and says, "You are violating a law of God. Man can only have one wife, so you must go and tell all the women, except for one, that they can no longer consider you their husbands and live here."

The men consult among themselves for a while, then the village Chief says. "We'll wait here. YOU go and tell them."

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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth!

The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the cover."

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My little niece, Katy, went with a neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the "Host," in this case, a piece of bread, he says, "God be with you."

Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She came home and told my sister to cup her hands and bend down. Katy took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice, "God will get you."