+ + +
A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a policeman for several months.
He passed the physical examination; then came the oral exam to test his ability to act quickly and wisely in an emergency.
Among other questions he was asked, "What would you do to disperse a frenzied crowd?"
He thought for a moment and then said, "I would pass a collection plate."
He got the job.
+ + +
Having been bored witless by the world's most boring preacher, Sam came out of church before the preacher had finished his sermon.
Outside he met his friend John, who asked, "Has he finished, then?"
Sam replied, "Well, yeah, he's finished, but the preacher won't stop!"
+ + +
The pastor's sermon focused on how God know's which of us grows best in the sunlight and which of us needs shade.
"For example," he said, "roses must be planted in the sun, but fuchsias thrive in the shade."
After the service, a woman, her face beaming, approached him.
"Your sermon did me so much good," she said.