The Monday Funnies

Here at St. Paul's, we try not to mix church and state. But mixing church and academia? That's another matter entirely. Enjoy your week, and welcome to a few lame jokes in the Monday Funnies . . . Oh, and be sure you scroll to the bottom for a special Monday Funnies extra!

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An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. All he need do is pick one. 

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. 

"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. 

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something wise." 

The dean looks at them and says, "I should have taken the money." 

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Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal, and said to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"  

The man said, "I do, Father." 

The priest said, "Then leave this pub right now!" and approached a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?" 

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. 

"Then leave this den of Satan," said the priest, as he walked up to O'Toole. "Do you want to go to heaven?" 

"No, I don't, Father," O'Toole replied. 

The priest looked him right in the eye, and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" 

O'Toole replied, "Oh, when I die, yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

IMPORTANT MONDAY FUNNIES ANNOUNCEMENT:

For the first time ever, we are running a photo caption contest. Come up with the best caption for the photo above, and you will win a free cup of coffee for a year, all you can drink, on Sunday mornings at St. Paul's. Enter your caption entries in the comment section below, and keep it clean!


And your reward for reading this far: An added bonus, the Frank and Ernest cartoon from yesterday: