The item below comes courtesy of our friend and St. Paul's colleague Paula Kettlewell. Going with it, a cartoon by church observer Dave Walker.
Enjoy your Monday . . .
What Episcopalians believe for Sure, Almost, Sometimes, Perhaps
Episcopalians occasionally believe in miracles and sometimes even expect them, particularly during stewardship canvasses and when electing bishops or recruiting church school teachers.
Episcopalians firmly believe that coffee hour is the eighth sacrament, but only if the coffee is caffeinated.
Episcopalians believe strongly in scripture, reason and tradition, and while they aren't sure what it is they believe about these three things, there is almost universal agreement that that is hardly the point.
Episcopalians who have never been on the Vestry claim they don't know what goes on in Vestry meetings. Episcopalians who have been on the Vestry claim they don't know either.
Episcopalians believe anything worth doing is especially worth doing if it has an obscure incomprehensible title attached to it (e.g. verge, sexton, thurifer, chasuble, suffragan, canon, dean, coadjutor).
Likewise, Episcopalians believe any place worth visiting is greatly enhanced by a name which only obliquely describes it (e.g., nave, narthex, sacristy, oratory, and church school supply closet).
Some Episcopalians believe that Rite I is the best expression of the liturgy. Many Episcopalians believe Rite II is better. Most Episcopalians haven't noticed the difference; they just hope it all gets over by noon.