The Monday Funnies

Well, we had the Parish Tea yesterday in our home. Everyone who came enjoyed it, and we served a lot of tea and various sweet and savory things on plates.

So now it is time again for the Monday Funnies. I hope your week goes well. How about a few lame jokes to start your work week, and a cartoon by Dave Walker? At the expense of church life, of course...

* * *

A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling
ill. "Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?"

"No" her mother replied.

"Well, I think I'm gonna be sick, Momma!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and
then behind a bush."

After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat.

"Were you sick?" her mom asked.

"Yes."

"How could you have gone all the way outside to the back of the church and
returned so quickly?"

"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next
to the front door that says, `FOR THE SICK'."

* * *

A paramedic was asked on a local TV talk-show program: "What was your
most unusual and challenging 911 call?"

"Recently we got a call from that big white church at 11th and Walnut,"
the paramedic said. "A frantic usher was very concerned that during the
sermon an elderly man passed out in a pew and appeared to be dead. The usher
could find no pulse and there was no noticeable breathing."

"What was so unusual and demanding about this particular call?" the interviewer asked.

"Well," the paramedic said, "we carried out four guys before we found the one who was dead."

* * *

An Anglican vicar, well into a lengthy sermon on the Gospel for the day,
suddenly stopped and called down to the his warden "that man's asleep."

The warden replied: "You put him to sleep; YOU wake him up."