* * *
A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgement Day
and, of course, he used Biblical phraseology whenever he could.
"Oh, my friends," he intoned, "imagine the suffering of the sinners as
they find themselves cast into the outer darkness, removed from the
presence of the Lord and given to eternal flames. My friends, at such a
time there will be weeping, wailing and a great gnashing of teeth!"
At this point, one of the elders of the congregation interrupted to
say, "But Reverend, what if one of those hopeless sinners has no teeth?"
The preacher crashed his fist on the pulpit, "My friends, the Lord is
not put out by details. Rest assured: teeth will be provided!"
* * *
Father Smithers, looking over his large congregation on a sunnyCartoon by Dave Walker.
Easter morning, startled them with this announcement "My friends, realizing
that I will not see many of you until next Easter, may I take this
opportunity to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"