Monday Funnies

How about a few jokes for a snowy week, and a cartoon by Dave Walker. Stay warm and safe, and enjoy the Monday Funnies...

* * *

A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to
church. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful
attendance, the pastor went to see him. He found him in excellent health,
so the pastor asked, "Why after all these years don't we see you at
services anymore?"

The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, reverend," he whispered.
"When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to
be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must've
forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"

* * *

Little Johnny arrived to Sunday School class late. His teacher knew
that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.

Johnny replied, "No, I was going to go fishing, but my dad told me that
I needed to go to church instead."

The teacher was very impressed and asked, "Did your father explain to
you WHY it was more important to go to church than to go fishing?"

"Yes he did." replied the boy. "My dad said that he didn't have enough
bait for both of us."

* * *

Once upon a time, there were four people; Their names were Everybody,
Somebody, Nobody and Anybody.

Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that
Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that
Nobody would do it.

So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody
could have done in the first place.