Hope you are hunkered down, safe and dry. Here are some groaners at the expense of organized religion from Pat Hill in the overpaid, overstaffed deadbeat Jokester Department of Fiat Lux, and a new cartoon from Dave Walker showing an aerial view of the St. Paul's Memorial Church parish hall.
Enjoy your Monday as best you can!
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One Sunday the Pastor announced, "Now, before we pass the collection plate, I would like to request that the person who stole the chickens from Brother Martin's hen house please refrain from giving any money to the Lord. The Lord doesn't want money from a thief!"
The collection plate was passed around, and for the first time in months everybody gave.
* * *
Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. His mother leaned over and told him that he was not old enough to partake in the Communion.
When the offering plate was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johhny held his dollar firmly in his hand, loudly stating, "If I can't eat, I won't pay!"
* * *
A young minister and Mr. Smith, an elderly parishioner, were playing golf. The minister's game was off and the old man was beating him rather soundly.
At the end of the game, the Mr. Smith tried to console his minister by saying, "don't worry, Reverend. One of these days you'll be burying me."
"Yes," sighed the minister, "but even then, it will be your hole!"
* * *
We were painting the church steeple grey,
When the wind blew our brushes away.
We said to the pastor, "We've had a disaster!"
He calmly replied, "Let us spray."