The Christmas Monday Funnies

It is still the Twelve Days of Christmas, and how better to keep celebrating than with a few more bad Christmas jokes, a Christmas present from buddy Patrick Hill and a cartoon from Dave Walker.

Ho Ho Ho, enjoy the Monday Funnies:

* * *

There are four ages of man:

1) When you believe in Santa Claus
2) When you don't believe in Santa Claus
3) When you are Santa Claus
4) When you look like Santa Claus

* * *

One night, the local Methodist Church caught fire one night. The fire department quickly arrived and dpoused the fire. As the flames died out, the pastor arrived at the church to survey the damage.

The Pastor recognized the fire captain as a church member who rarely attended. The pastor couldn't resist the chance to minister and said, "Too bad it took a fire to get you to come to church."

The captain responded, "Too bad it's the first time I've seen the church 'on fire."

* * *

A minister of a city church enjoyed a few drinks, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas.

One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.

In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment.

The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches... and for the spirit in which they were given!"