The Monday Funnies

It's time again for the Monday Funnies, and a few groaners from buddy Pat Hill. Don't blame me, blame Pat. Enjoy your Monday...

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The occasion of Jesus to address the demoniac by casting his demons out into the nearby swine, which, in turn ran over the edge of the cliff to a quick demise, was the first occasion in the Bible which gave rise to the use of the term, "deviled ham."

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The teacher told the Bible story to the class about Philip and the eunuch intent on showing the joy of becoming a Christian. Testing the class, the teacher asked, "Why did the eunuch go on his way rejoicing?"

Came the prompt reply, "Because Philip quit preaching!"

* * *

Having just moved to town, a woman decided that the first Sunday, she'd visit the church nearest to her new apartment.

She found herself in a pretty sanctuary, and as the service began, she enjoyed the music offered by the choir. But then the sermon began, and went on and on and on.
In fact, it seemed interminable, and not at all interesting. Surreptitiously glancing around, she noticed that many in the congregation were nodding off, and not even trying to stay awake.

Finally it was over, though, and people stood up for the final hymn.
After the service, to be social, she turned to the still sleepy looking gentleman next to her, extended her hand in greeting, and said,

"Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."

To this the gentleman replied, "Me too!"