The Monday Funnies

How about a few jokes to start the week from our pal Patrick Hill. And the photo of the sign came from Bill Bergen. Enjoy the Monday Funnies. . .

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The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.

"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."

"How come He doesn't do it?" she asked.

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At a mass where a group of young ladies were to take their final vows to become nuns, the presiding bishop noticed two men in rabbinical garb enter the church. They found seats at the back of the sanctuary on the right side of the center aisle.

The bishop wondered why they had come but didn't have time to inquire before the mass began. But when it came time for the announcements, his curiosity got the best of him.

He announced, "I am delighted to see two rabbis in our midst at this very special mass where these young ladies are to become the 'brides of Christ'. But I'm curious: why did you choose to be present at this occasion?"

The elder rabbi slowly rose to his feet and announced, "Family of the Groom."

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Story goes that Bishop Phillips Brooks was with a wealthy parishioner telling proudly about his planned trip to the Holy Land. He spoke in glowing terms about how he would climb Mount Sinai, just as Moses did, and standing atop the mountain, recite the Ten Commandments.

The bishop replied, "You'd be better off if you stay at home and keep them."