The Monday Funnies

It's another work week, church fans, and what better way to start your week than with a few lame jokes, gifts from our buddy, Patrick Hill. And I pass along a photo of Pat with NorCal Bishop Barry Beisner. Pat captioned the photo on his Facebook: "Bishop Barry Beisner listens to Patrick's confession."

Enjoy your Monday...

* * *

During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema
prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained
seated.

The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit
down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up.

The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and Commentaries, didn't know
what to do.

His congregation suggested that consult a house-bound 98-year-old man,
who was one of the original founders of their temple.

The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual
temple tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative
of each faction of the congregation.

The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, "Is the
tradition to stand during this prayer?"

The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."

The one whose followers sat asked, "Is the tradition to sit during Shema?"

The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."

Then the rabbi said to the old man, "The congregants fight all the time,
yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand..."

The old man interrupted, exclaiming, "That is the tradition!"

* * *

Probably not everyone knows that the cave in which Jesus Christ was
entombed was not originally his. It belonged to Joseph of Arimatheaa, a
follower of Jesus who gave it over as Christ had no place of his own.

I have always wondered what Joseph's friends may have said to him about
giving his tomb to Jesus. I think it went something like this:

"That was such a beautiful, costly, hand-hewn tomb. Why did you give it
to Jesus else to be interred in? THat must have been very tough to do"

"Oh,no, not really." Joseph's may have replied, "After all, he only
needed it for the weekend."

* * *

A minister in Florida lamented that it was difficult to get his message
across to his congregation: "It's so beautiful here in the winter," he
said, "that heaven doesn't interest them. And it's so hot here in the
summer that hell doesn't scare them."