The Monday Funnies

I hope you've had a wonderful Easter. Pat Hill and the Jokester Department have been hard at work coming up with these groaners at the expense of preachers, and a cartoon by Dave Walker.

Enjoy your week . . .

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Mike stayed out all night Saturday night playing cards, and thus fell asleep during the Sunday morning sermon.

The preacher concluded the sermon and then said in a louder voice, “Let us now join in prayer. Brother Mike, will you lead?”

Mike awakened suddenly (but apparently too slowly to gather himself) and responded, “Lead?I just dealt!”

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There's an old story about an old codger who always sat down front and always fell asleep during the sermon.

The preacher decided he was going to get Brother Jones one Sunday for it.

So at the end of his sermon he whispered, “Everyone who wants to go to heaven, stand up.”

The whole congregation stood up, except for Brother Jones.

“Sit back down.”

Then he said softly, “Everyone who wants to go to hell,” at which point he boomed, “STAND UP!”

Brother Jones leapt to his feet, then looked around. And he said, “Preacher, I don't know what we're voting on, but it seems that you and I are the only ones for it.”