Monday, September 24, 2012

The Monday Funnies are back!

It has been much, much too long since we've run the Monday Funnies. What, with the election season and all that, we need some laughs.

Pat Hill in the Fiat Lux Jokester Department has been hard at work coming up with jokes, when he is not goldbricking by gazing at the sky look for the space shuttle (see his brilliant film below).

Here's a few groaners (blame Pat) and a church sign of the week to your right. Enjoy your Monday and the rest of the week.

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The minister had just finished an excellent chicken dinner at the home of a member of his congregation. Sitting on the porch after dinner he saw a rooster come strutting through the yard. "That's certainly a proud-looking rooster you have there," the minister commented.

"Yes sir," replied the farmer. "He has reason to be proud, one of his sons just entered the ministry!"

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George went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper.

"Now that you are over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called presbyopia, in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to."

Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Congratulations!" he said. "You're now officially a presbyope!"

George leaned over and asked seriously, "Does this mean I can no longer be a Southern Baptist?"

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One beautiful Sunday morning, a pastor announced to his congregation: "My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons...a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour.

"Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver."

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