General Convention: Same-gender rite gets blessing

The Rev. Ruth Meyers, professor from CDSP
presenting A029 to the House of Deputies

Certainly the major news coming out of General Convention, our highest governing body, meeting this week in Indianapolis, is the approval of a single liturgical rite for the blessing of same-gender couples.

The House of Deputies on Tuesday concurred with the House of Bishops in assenting to Resolution A049 that authorizes a "provisional" liturgical ceremony for such couples. 

General Convention meets only every three years, so it is momentous event for the Episcopal Church that, as some deputies put it, represents a "turning point" in this long controversial issue.

The lead story today in Episcopal News Service began this way:

[Episcopal News Service -- Indianapolis] Same-gender couples soon can have their lifelong relationships blessed using a rite approved by General Convention July 10.

You may ask, though, what is new here? The moment felt a bit anti-climatic. Same-sex couples have been blessed in ceremonies by Episcopal priests for at least 30 years, though until recently, not always with the permission of bishops, and often in someone's backyard and not inside a church building. Until recently, they were mostly outlaw blessings.

Three years ago, General Convention allowed bishops to "provide a generous pastoral response" to gay and lesbian couples by allowing blessings. What those blessings would look and sound like was left to the bishops. 

Meanwhile, for the past three years a team at the Church Divinity School of the Pacific in Berkeley, led by the Rev. Dr. Ruth Meyers, embarked on an extensive study of the theological and biblical foundations for blessing same-sex couples. They published an extensive report and a proposed liturgy -- the liturgy, with a few revisions, that was adopted by General Convention this week.

Also meanwhile, in the Diocese of Virginia, Bishop Shannon Johnston asked those of us who wanted to proceed with such blessings to follow an intentional process of discernment with our congregations before going forward. Because there is a plethora of liturgies floating around in the church's ethernet, Bishop Johnston also required us to bring our proposed liturgies to him for approval.

Here at St. Paul's, we spent a year in study, prayer and discernment in the congregation on the topic of blessings, marriage and the history and doctrine of the Church. You can read all of our presentations on a special blog by clicking HERE. 

With the approval of Bishop Johnston, we held our first blessing ceremony of a lesbian couple in April for two longtime members who have lived in a committed partnered relationship for many years. The entire parish was invited, and it was a truly glorious day.

So what is new here from General Convention? And what does it mean?

The immediate impact of General Convention's action is that there will be a single "provisional" liturgical rite for such blessings. Our prayer book has a single rite for marriage, and now there will be a single rite for the blessing of same-sex couples. This represents one more step among many in a long journey rather than a startling tidal shift. 

I suspect that Bishop Johnston will still want to review what we are doing before we do it. 

During the debate at General Convention, there were a number of speakers, both for and against, who equated the rite with marriage ceremonies. It certainly sounds like marriage, looks like marriage, feels like marriage. A number of people who came to our blessing at St. Paul's in April called it a "wedding," though the couple and myself were careful to not call it that. I suspect in years to come such blessings will be called "weddings," but we must also be mindful that the Church -- even the The Episcopal Church -- is not quite there yet.

In a little noticed move a few days ago in the House of Bishops, Bishop Johnston successfully inserted an amendment to A049, the same-sex blessing resolution, that would, in effect, prohibit heterosexual couples from using the same-sex blessing liturgy for their marriage ceremonies. Indeed, some speakers at General Convention said they would have liked the same-sex liturgy at their weddings. With Bishop Johnston's amendment, at least theoretically, that won't happen. His amendment keeps at least some semblance of a wall around the Holy Matrimony liturgy in the prayer book.

The Rev. David Thurlow, of South Carolina,

presents minority report opposing same-gender blessings

In watching the debates this week in the House of Bishops and House of Deputies, I was grateful there was no triumphalism or gloating. The self-righteous tone was gone that has characterized all sides at previous conventions on the topic of gay rights. And that was to the good. I did not hear anyone threaten to leave the Episcopal Church if they did not get there way, probably because those who have threatened to leave in the past have gone.

I must admit that I have come a long way on this issue myself over the years, as have many people. I was not always in favor of same-sex blessings or marriage equality. I've traveled a large distance, and I pray others will, too.

Yet, maybe because I have traveled such a long distance on this topic, I have also struggled to understand what one of my friends terms "the pain of the conservatives." 

Why should including a marginalized persecuted group be painful for the majority? I don't quite get that. 

I was helped immensely yesterday in the debate by the Rev. David Thurlow of South Carolina who gave a respectful minority report explaining why he and others oppose the blessing of same-sex couples:

“For 2,000 years, the church has had clear teaching regarding marriage...We haven’t taken heed of the universal voice of the church universal or the Anglican Communion. This resolution marks a clear and significant departure — theological, doctrinal and in worship — from the doctrine, discipline and worship of Christ as this church has received them.” 

The fear expressed is that by our inclusion, we will as a church have excluded ourselves from the wider Church-writ-large. Our General Convention's action does put us at odds with much of the Anglican Communion, the Roman Catholic Church and much (but not all) of the Protestant world. There will be a reaction, and it will not be pleasant, and there will be people in our church who feel excluded from the larger Church by no action of their own.

And that brings me to a question: How can we include the marginalized without excluding others? Why should inclusion bring exclusion?

My only answer -- the only possible answer I can have -- is to look to Jesus who marches into the tombs to bring everyone out, to free us from fear and death. He included all and invited everyone to his table. No one was kicked out.

"And this good news of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the world, as a testimony to all the nations." (Matthew 24:14)

By James Richardson, St. Paul's Memorial Church, Fiat Lux

General Convention: Same-sex blessing rite approved by House of Bishops

House of Bishops Monday
during vote on same-sex blessings.

This afternoon, the House of Bishops voted 111 to 41, with three abstaining, to authorize a liturgy for same-sex blessings. The proposal, A049, moves to the House of Deputies where it enjoys even stronger support. This is the most significant action so far coming out of the once-every-three years General Convention, meeting in Indianapolis.

You can read the Episcopal News Service story HERE. The story also mentions an emotional moment of "personal privilege" by New Hampshire Bishop Gene Robinson in which he asked people to "cut me a little slack... it's been nine long years."

It should be remembered that this measure is a logical step from the resolution approved three years ago to provide a "generous pastoral response" by allowing bishops, if they so wished, to approve same-sex blessings in their diocese and to continue studying the issue church-wide. There was no single rite approved at the time, and that allowed bishops to develop their own. The measure approved by the bishops Monday would bring a uniformity to these rites. As one bishop put it, the measure would end "liturgical anarchy."

The measure would continue to allow bishops, priests and congregations to decline to participate in same-sex blessings.

The debate by the bishops took more than an hour and I listened on the "mediahub" webstream. The debate was respectful.

Bishop Nathan Baxter of Pittsburg said that voting for the measure would take courage by the bishops. "Unless we take certain movement, the conversation will stop."

But other bishops said same-sex blessings will put the Episcopal Church out of step with other provinces of the Anglican Communion and traditional doctrine of Christianity.

Our Diocese of Virginia bishops, Shannon Johnston and Ted Gulick, both voted in favor, as did all of the California bishops (I do have many California readers here).

Monday's development is founded on the work of a team of scholars and theologians at the Church Divinity School of the Pacific who spent the last three years studying the biblical issues and liturgical foundations of same-sex blessings. You can read the full report that was given to General Convention by clicking HERE.

General Convention: Hearing on Proposed Same-Sex blessing rite

Reposting this from Center Aisle:

Mutual Respect Marks Hearings on Proposed Same-Sex Blessings

This entry was posted on July 8, 2012, in News and Information, Web Exclusive and taggedPrayer Book & Liturgy. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment

The open hearing for Prayer Book, Liturgy and Music on same-sex blessings was marked by cordiality, care and respect Saturday night at the Downtown Marriott.

More than 400 people showed up for the hearing to discuss both the enabling legislation and the language of A049, Authorize Liturgical Resources for Blessing Same-Gender Relationships.

“Mutual respect marked the meeting,” the Rt. Rev. Wayne Smith, Missouri, chair of the Bishops committee, said at the end of the hearing. “All of us are one body and all are a part of life in Christ Jesus.”

“I thought that the evening marked an immense sense of mutual respect and that that in and of itself was a blessing,” said the Rev. Canon Sandye Wilson, Newark, vice chair of the Deputies committee. “When we agree to disagree, and recognize that all of us are created in the image of God, the Holy Spirit was present in this room tonight.”

Johnston

The Rt. Rev. Shannon S. Johnston, bishop of Virginia, agreed. “I was struck by the sense of care and respect shown on both sides,” he said. “It certainly strikes me that it helped the committee in listening and discernment. The tone of the debate in the Church has come a long way even as people continue to disagree.”

Unlike in years past, when disparaging remarks were common in testimony, witnesses took pains Saturday to be respectful.

The first witness, Jonathon York, a Young Adult Festival participant from North Carolina, started off the testimony. “I am an out and proud young gay man, and I am Christian. This was an impossible concept for many to get their heads around for years, because being gay and Christian was mutually exclusive,” he said. “I want young people to know … they do have a place here in God’s home.”

Several speakers later, testifying against C049, the Rev. Danielle Morris, Central Florida, began her testimony by saying, “To the young man from Duke (referring to York): You are OK. Jesus loves you. And I would be proud to have you in our Church.” But, she said, she opposes the blessings “because of global ramifications,” citing the danger to Christians in predominantly Muslim countries. “We will have blood on our hands” if we do this, she said. “Vote ‘No’ so that others will live.”

Because of the way in which the committee structured the hearing, the first hour of testimony was divided evenly between those who supported the resolution and those who opposed it.

Magomba

The Rev. Mote Paulo Magomba, a visitor from Tanzania, spoke in favor of the resolution “because I understand our context is different. In your context and culture, the full inclusion of LBGT people will help to speed up the mission of the Episcopal Church.” Cautioning that he was not speaking on behalf of the Anglican Church of Tanzania, he said he had met many LBGT Christians in the United States, “and their work is awesome. … Everywhere in the world, each church should be able to do what is appropriate and fitting.”

April Richey, deputy, Utah, said she supported the blessings. “It begins the process of recognizing that all people are equal in the eyes of God regardless of who they love. Our Church allows partnered gays and lesbians to be bishops, but has no authorized liturgies to recognize or bless relationships. This resolution changes that,” she said, “and sends the message that persons currently or potentially in non-heterosexual relationships are accepted and not merely tolerated for the gifts they bring to the Church.”

Alford-Harkey

Marie Alford-Harkey, deputy, Connecticut, favored the resolution as well. “I work in an ecumenical context,” she said. “I can tell you that we need to witness to inclusion in this Church. It is, quite frankly, an embarrassment spending 37 years” talking about this. “If we want to grow, we need to make this so,” she said. “What is true about the Episcopal Church is that we love each other. … It is time for the Episcopal Church to demonstrate healing and love to the LBGT community.” She added: “Why authorize rites? They are the heart of our Anglican identity. We believe praying shapes believing. We need to witness radically to the inclusive love of Jesus Christ and this Church.”

Many of those opposed to the blessings went to great lengths to stress that they felt no animus toward LBGT persons, even as they cited scriptural and theological concerns.

The Rev. Sharon Lewis of Southwest Florida said the blessings were “more than a pastoral provision. They are really representing a different definition of marriage.” She said that, when she read the proposed blessings, “I realized that I was being walked through the marriage rite as it is laid out in the BCP. It was not what I was quite expecting, and brings a different definition that we have not even had the opportunity to sit down and discuss and do the hard work. … I think we’re moving too quickly.”

Servillo

The Rev. James Servillo, Central Florida, said that the “actions, the decisions made right here right now, today, may tell another tale.” Ecumenical partners, he said, “discern the actions of the Episcopal Church moving forward … as a sign of our arrogance … and imperial mentality.”

The Rev. Michael Michie, Dallas, addressed those in the LBGT community by saying that his presence “at this microphone and my opposition is not a barrier to our friendship. I prayerfully call us to a higher level of community … without the use of shame and guilt toward one another. If you are an LGBT person in this room and you have suffered, I am sorry for that.” But, he said, he objected to C049 on theological and biblical grounds. “Is this sacramental? If it is not sacramental, and if we’re heading toward extending to these people in the Church the sacramental blessing of marriage, I would ask you to go ahead and get on with it. Do it.” Otherwise, he said, do not pass the legislation.

But the Rev. Tom Jackson, president of Oasis California, was just as adamant. “We are not willing to be sacrificed again in the name of Anglican unity or future unity with the pope,” he said. If the resolution is passed, “we will be able to offer all of the Church’s sacraments to all of the baptized.”

In discussing the actual language of the proposed liturgy, few witnesses stepped forward; the testimony, scheduled for an hour, ended in 12 minutes. Some had problems with the term “same-gender” as opposed to “same-sex”; others thought the language was too close the marriage rite in the BCP.

Deputy Diana Moreland, Arizona, summed up the feelings of many at the hearing by describing a friend of hers. “We went to the same college but we differ on everything. And yet when we were talking about the question of marriage and equality among our LGBT friends, she said to me, ‘I don’t understand why this is an issue. It should just be.’ … This should be a non-issue.”

Prayer Book, Liturgy and Music took up the resolution again at 7:30 Sunday morning.

–Lauren R. Stanley, Photos by Eric Gregory

Life at St. Paul's is very rich: Catching up on the last few weeks

We have some catching up to do from the last few weeks. Although I've taken a writing break here in this space, life at St. Paul's has been wonderfully rich of late. We've had four baptisms and our annual official visitation with Bishop Shannon Johnston, with a dozen confirmations.

Pastor Janet Legro has returned on Wednesday evenings to lead a class entitled "Three Bits of Wisdom to Guide Our Relationships," and more than 80 people came out to hear her last week. Her class continues tonight, so come if you can.

Two Sundays ago, we had a guest preacher, Robert Ratdke, the president of Episcopal Relief and Development who told us about the amazing work across the globe from our church to mitigate poverty and save millions of lives.

And Lori and I hosted the annual "Parish Tea" at our home. Although the rain kept it from being a garden party, more than 50 people graced us with their presence, and many hands helped make it a wonderful gathering.

I have to say the high point of the Easter season for me was the blessings of the covenanted relationship of Margaret Mohrmann and Deborah Healy on April 14. It was the first time a same-gender union has been blessed at St. Paul's, and we did so with the full sanction of Bishop Johnston. The day was the culmination of a great deal of work by Deborah and Margaret and a year-long process in the parish of forums, biblical study, and prayer. This was not the first such ceremony in the Diocese of Virginia -- there have been several in Northern Virginia. But this was the first in our region.

We invited the parish to attend, and the place was packed. The most amazing moment in the ceremony for me was when I invited other clergy to come forward to join in blessing the couple, and eight came forward, and from many denominations. The fullness and love of the Kingdom of God was on display.

I preached at the ceremony, and with the permission of Margaret and Deborah, I am sharing the sermon with you here. For those who are still struggling with this issue, I especially hope you will read it:

+ + +

Margaret Mohrmann and Deborah Healey

April 14, 2012 

First, Deborah and Margaret, stand up. Look around. Take a moment and look into the faces of everyone here.

         We love you, we bless you, we honor you.

         And we are blessed and honored by you. We thank you for bringing us here today, for your love and your friendship and the blessings you bestow on us.

         Now you can be seated.

         I have a few words I want to share today with all of you, and then a few words for Margaret and Deborah.

+ + +

         We are doing something today that is very old and very traditional, and really, if you think about it, wonderfully ordinary.

         At first glance, it may not seem so. None of us are, after all, very old, at least compared with the long sweep of Christian tradition. All of us are quite young, comparatively anyway. And no one here is ordinary. And at first glance, we are doing something breathtakingly new for the Church, an institution not exactly known for doing things in breathtaking fashion or breathtaking speed.

We are, in fact, doing something never done before within these four walls of St, Paul’s Memorial Church, and never before done in any Episcopal Church in Central Virginia: Blessing the covenant of two people, who are of the same sex, and we are doing so with the sanction and blessing of our bishop, Shannon Johnston.

Today is an historic milestone for this church, and it is meet and right that we so note. We especially need to pause with gratitude for all those courageous souls, for their witness and perseverance, who have made what we do today possible.

And we especially need to thank you, Deborah and Margaret, for inviting us here and for your willingness to be first.

Yet what we do today is very old and very traditional.

         What we do today stretches back to the time of Abraham, Jacob and Moses, to the time of Jesus and Saint Paul.

         What we do today is biblical in its tradition and biblical in scope:

         We are witnessing and blessing the solemn covenant between two people who are pledging their lives to each other.  They are doing what people have been doing for millennia and millennia, and that makes this wonderfully ordinary.

         We, too, are making a covenant with each other to support and encourage Deborah and Margaret “in times of joy and in times of sorrow.”

         We are in this with them.

         A covenant is not the same as a contract. A contract is an agreement for the exchange of goods and services.

And while a contract can sometimes lead to a relationship, a contract is not about the relationship; it is about the goods and services exchanged – and the parties might not ever even meet.

         A covenant is different. A covenant is an agreement that creates an intimate bond. It is primarily about the relationship, and the deepening involvement among those making the covenant.

         Today Margaret and Deborah are standing squarely within the blessed covenant of God and Abraham, and the relationship that covenant created.      

One way of looking at the long march of Christian history is to see it as the struggle to broaden, often painfully, our understanding of who is included in the covenant of God and Abraham.

Our forbearers began to call it the “new covenant” even as their understanding of its breadth and depth was incomplete.

Saint Paul and the early Christians proclaimed the death of Christ on the Cross as the supreme expression of the “new” covenant that all people everywhere are to be included in this old covenant.

And so, in a few minutes, we appropriately will remember again when Jesus, on the night before he died, broke bread and blessed all who shared at his table, and we will remember again how he proclaimed he is bound us, and to everyone else, by this “new covenant.”

         Margaret and Deborah chose with great care the readings we hear today, for each reading shines brightly with a different perspective on this covenant that is constantly made new.

From the prophet Isaiah:

 “I have taken you by the hand and kept you; I have given you as a covenant to the people, a light to the nations, to open eyes that are blind…”

From Paul’s letter to the Romans comes the most succinct instruction we may ever hear on how to morally live into this covenant:

“Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another…

“Bless those who persecute you… rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep…live peaceably with all.”

And from the Gospel of Luke, we hear Jesus proclaim that God’s Kingdom is here now, if only we will open our eyes to see it:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free.”

Our world finds many ways to be poor, many ways to hold people captive, many ways to be blind, to be oppressed by bigotry, prejudice, racism, homophobia, and just plain narrowness of mind and spirit.

The covenant Margaret and Deborah make today is very good news for the whole world because their covenant breaks through the captivity of blindness and oppression and narrowness. 

Our world is made new here, today.

The covenant between Deborah and Margaret shows us a way forward in all of human relationships.

No one today is allowed to be the same again because of their covenant with each other and our covenant with them.

By your example, Margaret and Deborah, you give us a model for a life of self-giving, founded in love and forgiveness, generosity and joy, with Christ at your center.

Yet, what Deborah and Margaret do today is uniquely theirs, a gracious gift to them alone from God.

They are made new today and life for them will never be the same again.

 By their covenant, Margaret and Deborah set forth today to explore life together in a new way, with the risks and vulnerabilities that come with that.

And by conferring the blessing of the Holy Church, we signify that they are set apart for a Holy purpose with each other and for God’s Kingdom. That makes what they embark upon today their Holy vocation.

         My final words are therefore for you, Deborah and Margaret. Please stand up.

+ + +

This may strike you as, well, very Anglican, because these next words come from the Royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

Amid all of the pageantry and pomp, Richard Chartres, the Bishop of London, gave one of the most generous homilies I have ever heard about how two people can be bound together in a covenant of love with Christ at their center.

And so Margaret and Deborah, here are the words of Bishop Chartres, and these words are especially for you: 

 “You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

“The spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this: the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed.

“We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive. We need mutual forgiveness in order to thrive.

“As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light.

+ + +

        

And, so my dear friends, Deborah and Margaret, we pray you will continue to grow in the light you give each other, to thrive, to be at each other’s side as companions on the way, in faith, hope and love, and for the Glory of God and the life of the world.

May you go from blessing to blessing, strength to strength, and your light shine forth brightly in this world. AMEN

James Richardson, Fiat Lux

Stretching out our arms of love: Where we go next with same-sex blessings

Today's sermon has as its foundation today's gospel lesson, Matthew 21:23-32, and many months of conversations and listening at St. Paul's. I would ask that those who read this here give this prayerful consideration:

+ + +

Lord Jesus Christ, you stretched out your arms of love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of your saving embrace: So clothe us in your Spirit that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those who do not know you to the knowledge and love of you; for the honor of your Name. Amen.

That prayer comes each day at Morning Prayer, and I think it is an appropriate prayer for entering into the topic I want to discuss today. 

This topic is sensitive and personal for many, and about which there is room for honest disagreement. 

The topic is the blessing of same-sex unions. 

At the heart of all that I want to talk with you about today is how Christ embraces each of us, and how each of us reaches forth in love to others. 

Let me begin by saying that you are free to disagree with everything I have to say. You may be tempted to hiss, or you may be tempted to clap. I ask that you do neither. 

You may think that, as a church, we have gone too far, or not far enough. But I would ask that you consider these words as an invitation to continue in this larger conversation with the wider Church as we learn together how to reach forth our hands in love to everyone, especially people who have felt left out. 

The strength of our Anglican-Episcopal tradition is that we can have multiple viewpoints from multiple perspectives and still come to the Holy Table to share in the bread and wine of our Holy Eucharist. 

I pray that will always be so with us. 

I am also mindful that we have number of guests today, including those of you who came for the baptisms of four children we are soon to celebrate. 

Our guests may wonder what the topic of same-sex unions has to do with these baptisms. I promise you, it has everything to do with baptism. 

I would invite our guests to join with us in this wider conversation because your presence today in blessing these children is deeply connected with how all of us live out the promises of our baptism: to love our neighbors as ourselves, to respect the dignity of every human being, and be faithful in the sharing of our prayers and the bread and wine of our Holy Eucharist. 

And baptism is only a start, the first of the sacraments. We have reserved more sacraments for these children as they grow older. How we include them in our sacraments is at the center of this conversation today. 

I need to tell you a little of my own journey and the distance I’ve traveled on the topic of same sex relationships. 

I was brought up in a conservative Episcopalian household, in comfortable middle-class suburbs. 

My parents were married for 56 years before my father died, and they gave me a pretty good model of what marriage could be: A mutually supportive partnership devoted to each other and to the greater good of their family and the community. 

But we did not talk in my family about sex, or sexual orientation, or the possibility that there might be people who are attracted to the same sex and could live in a mutually supportive partnership devoted to each other and to the greater good of their family and the community.

That would never have crossed my mind at age 12, although we had our great Aunt Ruth, a professor at the University of California, who lived with her “friend” Elizabeth for more than 50 years – what was that all about? It never occurred to my sister and me to ask. 

It was not until I became a student at UCLA that I discovered I had gay friends. They opened my eyes to a different world than the one I had grown up in. 

I became a young adult during the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, and I went through the anguish of losing friends. I witnessed a great deal of compassion for them, and a great deal of prejudice.

I had to face this question: If God created me good, and bestowed upon me the gift of Lori, my life partner, didn’t this same God create people who are attracted to the same sex? And couldn’t this same God also bestow upon them the gift of a partner for life? 

As you know, society-at-large is struggling with this question and so is the Church.

The Church has long seen marriage as between a man and woman, proclaiming that marriage is an expression of how Jesus Christ loves the Church – the church being all of us. All of us, metaphorically speaking, are married to Christ. 

But that metaphor begs the question of whether Christ puts limits on who can experience this expression of love. 

Is Christ’s love limited only to heterosexuals in heterosexual relationships, or does Christ’s love encompass the full goodness in all of humanity? Are gay people included too? 

I came to believe that isn’t God, but people and their cultures, who impose limits on who can be in a committed life-long loving relationship. 

To put this another way: Shouldn’t the ethical issue be how faithfully we love, honor and cherish each other, rather than the sexual orientation of who we are created to love? 

Yet we must also recognize that we are treading on new ground in the Church. This is new, and we must listen respectfully to those voices through the ages that have seen this differently. 

We must also recognize that marriage itself has undergone an enormous transformation in our lifetime. Not that long ago, marriage was primarily a property transaction between families – with a woman as the property. 

Only recently, and primarily only in Western culture, has marriage been seen as a co-equal partnership for the “mutual joy” of a man and woman, as our prayer book terms it. 

Seeing marriage as primarily for the purpose of “mutual joy” is a huge shift in our understanding of marriage, and leads inevitably to the question of whether that mutual joy can only be experienced by people in opposite sex relationships. 

In our Christian tradition, we rightly turn to the Bible as our primary resource for the revelation of God’s guidance. 

However, I will be candid with you: The Bible is of limited help here. There are several forms of marriage in the Bible, including polygamy and rules for marrying your brother’s wife, and how to compensate your neighbor if you have sexual relations with one of his slaves.

The authors of the Bible did not foresee the radical notion of co-equal marriage between men and women, let alone between two people of the same sex. That was not on the charts of the ancient world. 

Frankly, the authors of the Bible did not foresee any co-equal loving relationship between anyone. That was the limit of their view. 

But I don’t believe that is the limit of God’s view. 

We must, I believe, turn to Jesus and his gospel principles of faithfulness and integrity. The cornerstone of all of Jesus’ teachings is love and the responsibilities of love, and something more: Jesus left us with the gift of the Holy Spirit to continue guiding and teaching us. The revelation of God does not end with the Bible but continues with us. 

As you may know, Bishop Shannon Johnston, our bishop in the Diocese of Virginia, has struggled mightily with this issue. He wrote a letter to the diocese last spring explaining how he had come to support the blessing of same-sex unions. Here is what he wrote:

“As I prayed for guidance, an absolutely overwhelming sense–sudden and out-of- the-blue–said ‘MOVE ... NOW.’ … at that point I had total clarity as to what this moment was all about.” 

Bishop Johnston added: 

“Throughout my spiritual life, I have learned that a primary way in which the Holy Spirit works with me is through the unlikely.” 

This was certainly the unlikely for him – and it may be unlikely for some of you. As unlikely and uncomfortable as it may be for some you, I ask that you pray and consider where the Holy Spirit might be leading us together. 

Last spring, we spent a great deal of time in our Sunday forums and Wednesday evening adult education exploring the issues of marriage and same-sex blessings. 

The Vestry also spent many hours in a parallel discussion, and a number of our Vestry members also attended the parish-wide forums. 

We heard not only from gay people who felt excluded by the Church, but also from older couples who had re-married outside the Church years ago because of its stance on divorce. Others expressed support for blessings but discomfort with calling such blessings “marriage.” 

A few people expressed opposition to such blessings based on their opinion that homosexuality is a sin. I believe all were respectfully heard. 

We also heard from people who were initially opposed to same-sex blessings, but then changed their minds primarily because of the stories they heard from their friends and fellow parishioners. 

I was also struck by how many married couples told me they learned things about their own marriages and the meaning of their marriage vows by attending these forums.

At the conclusion of those forums in June, and in consultation with our Vestry, I wrote a letter to Bishop Johnston asking his permission to proceed with same-sex blessings in this parish. 

After several weeks of deliberation, the bishop has replied granting his permission with the condition that he approve the format and language of such ceremonies. I believe that is a fair condition because we are in new territory, and ultimately in the Episcopal Church, all rites and ceremonies are a reflection of the bishop.

We are the fourth parish to be granted such permission in the Diocese of Virginia.
Let me also note that just because the bishop has given a green light, it does not mean such blessings will happen tomorrow. We require all of our pre-marriage couples to undergo many months of preparation and that will also be required of our same-sex couples seeking the blessing of their union. I do not expect there will be a blessing of a same-sex couple before next spring.

I know that not everyone agrees with going in this direction. Yet I also ask, whatever your opinion, that you show your love and respect to all of our couples especially those for whom this is also new territory. 

I promised when I began that I would tell you why this has everything to do with baptism. I know this is a long sermon on an involved topic, so please bear with me for a few more minutes. 

In the gospel lesson from Matthew today, the religious authorities – the intellectuals – are flummoxed by the question: is baptism of God or of humanity? 

And Jesus replies “yes.” 

This will sound obvious, but we can only experience the divine through our human senses – our touch, our hearing, our taste, our sight and our minds. 

We are physical beings, and we use physical outward symbols of water, words, music, prayers, and vows to give us entry – a window, if you will – into the sacred presence that is inside all of us and around us. 

When we baptize people we are saying through these physical signs that God is present and at work in them – and in us. When we are aware of this, we are living sacramentally. 

We are also doing something more – we are welcoming the newly baptized into the “household of God” – the Body of Christ. We are declaring that this household of God needs everyone, of every age and every talent, every persuasion and every orientation.
That is why I am convinced that it is not ours to put artificial limits on the exchanging of vows with the person we love. 

The test is whether those vows are done with faithfulness and integrity, and we can only know that by living into those vows with each other, by living sacramentally together in this community of faith. 

I believe that the Holy Spirit has so much else to teach us about how to live more fully and generously – and sacramentally – as human beings, and we are now embarking on a road together that will bring not just blessings to our couples, but blessings to each and every one of us.

I pray we will always be open to listening and seeing the divine in each other – and that we will bless each other reaching forth with our love. Thank you for listening, and thank you for your prayers.
Amen.

Patience, kindness, mercy: Keeping the faith in our differences

Saint Paul is a hard read sometimes, as members of our Education for Ministry groups have pointed out more than once this year. Paul can be crabby, pushy, self-righteous, and to use a phrase of an old editor of mine, "he is not without ego."

But this morning we get Paul at his finest (Romans 14:1-12):

Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions. Some believe in eating anything, while the weak eat only vegetables. Those who eat must not despise those who abstain, and those who abstain must not pass judgment on those who eat; for God has welcomed them. Who are you to pass judgment on servants of another? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall. And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

Some judge one day to be better than another, while others judge all days to be alike. Let all be fully convinced in their own minds. Those who observe the day, observe it in honor of the Lord. Also those who eat, eat in honor of the Lord, since they give thanks to God; while those who abstain, abstain in honor of the Lord and give thanks to God.

Paul is not talking about just diets or the calendar on your Blackberry. He is talking about religious practice and piety. Why do you quarrel over your opinions about religion? Some of you are vegetarians as a religious practice, or you don't drink coffee (Mormons), or you abstain from alcohol (Baptists). Others of you eat and drink anything you like (Episcopalians). Some of you keep Sunday holy (Christians) or Saturday (Jews), some of you observe Christmas and Easter. Some of you don't observe any holidays (Jehovah Witnesses). Some of you say the Rosary (Catholics), some of you keep it simple and without ornament (Quakers). Why do you think you are better than your brother or sister? Each of you is on path to being with God. Stop quarreling. Or, to use the slang of our own day, cut each other some slack, you don't have to win every argument. Let each other be.

What's the test of our faith? We get that from the Book of Wisdom 14:27-15:3 today: "But you, our God, are kind and true, patient, and ruling all things in mercy."

Patience, kindness, mercy. When you experience that, you will be closer to God than you can imagine. Patience, kindness, mercy.

Lately we've been engaged in a parish-wide conversation on same-sex blessings. We've held seven Sunday forums, an all-day Saturday workshop, and last night was the fourth of five Wednesday forums. We have shared a lot of information and many personal stories. Last night, we talked about the development of "traditional" monogamous heterosexual marriage, and we had people of differing views on same-sex blessings. Meanwhile, our Vestry is also engaged in this discussion. You can read all of the presentations at the forums by clicking HERE.

We've heard many differing views, yet for the most part, we've been able to come to the table, and show patience, kindness and mercy with each other. Not always, but when we don't, we've found ways to remind ourselves to have patience, kindness, mercy.

And we don't have to agree, as Saint Paul implores us. We don't have to quarrel either, as he also implores us. And we can still worship the Lord in holiness, share in the bread and wine of our sacraments, and work together to bring patience, kindness and mercy to our world, united by our baptismal covenant.

Patience, kindness mercy -- that is the essence of our faith.